What does it mean to have it all?

Jennifer La Rosa

When I was in the sixth grade I thought that having it all and living the good life meant that I had a happy home, got into the sixth grade choir, had a hot dog day every last Friday of the month, and last but not least, went on the year-end school trip to Rainbow Valley (the latter being a popular amusement park on Prince Edward Island). Well in my sixth, and final, year of elementary school, most of these things did come true with the exception of making the choir and going to Rainbow Valley. I can still remember the disappointment of being the only student not selected for the choir and the cancellation of a long trip to visit an old-fashioned farm that my class had visited in the previous year. On the other hand, I can also remember many happy Fridays eating hotdogs, drinking an unidentifiable orange drink, and finishing off the meal with an ice cream cup in the company of my classmates.

Did I have it all back then? Do I have it all now? Will I ever have it all? Is having it all a life of complacency with no challenges and goals? Or is it being content with oneself?

Fast forward fifteen years from elementary school to a medical school interview discussion about balancing a family and a career. I was asked if it was possible to have it all. As I was sitting in an uncomfortable chair facing my interview board, I was not about to argue that having it all, being superwoman, let alone knowing what one wants is something that I believe constantly changes and is difficult to determine: It was not the time for a loose cannon to unleash a philosophical rant about life. Instead, in a few short words I said what I have always believed:

“Certainly. But having it all means different things to different people at
different times in their lives.”

My statement was followed by a considerable pause in the room broken only when the medical student interviewer asked me what I meant by this. For those of you reading this expecting a long drawn-out philosophical discussion, I am sorry to disappoint you. I simply explained that when I was younger, for me, having it all meant that I did well in school, played with my friends after school, had a decent snack such as a fruit roll-up or granola bar for recess, and had my homework done by the time dinner was served. As I got older, having it all still meant that I did well in school, but it also meant a few more things to me: having healthy parents, being happy in my job, and having enough financial security to do the things that I want.

What does today’s society have to say about having it all? Is having health, happiness, beauty, love, talent, and a rewarding career are the keys to having it all? Or is living in a peaceful country with no hate and having your voice heard, clean water, and opportunities for education are all of the possibilities that a young woman needs to open the doors to having it all? How do we measure “all”?

In my interview, I went on to explain that I believed that a person can have it all, but having it all means different things to different people. I have to constantly remind myself that people change as the years go by and what was once important may be replaced by another priority. In my own life, I have seen my priorities change. Truthfully I now need a little more than a fruit roll-up to make me happy. If someone were to ask me what I wanted out of life I would have to say that it would be having healthy loved ones, obtaining financial security, and working in a job that I enjoy. So as you can see within my own life, things have changed and I’m sure that the changes will never end.

Needless to say, I still wonder about having it all. On that same trip a couple of years ago, I was walking across the Hungerford Bridge in Central London on a sunny January day looking out over the banks of the Thames River. I remember feeling a powerful sense of happiness and peace. It was the first time in many months that I had felt this way. Was it the sunny, spring-like January day in one of my favourite places to visit or was it simply that I was having a great day? I cannot forget the feeling of happiness that I experienced that day nor can I explain the reason for my happiness. The only thing that was clear to me about that day was that for that brief moment in time, I felt like a I truly had it all.