Educating About Relationship Violence
When I began teaching, I was given the assignment of teaching Family Life to upper-level high-school students. Now, young males tend not to take Family Life at the high-school level (I hate to generalize, but our high school offers so many trades courses that the boys tend to take instead), so for the past three years, I have had the joy of teaching a classroom of all females. While it can have its ups and downs, I have throughly enjoyed it. My girls (as I call them) and I have the opportunity to talk and discuss issues that some females might shun away from if males were in the room.
One such issue that the class and I touch on is violence in relationships. Students at my school (both male and female) are first exposed to the topic of violence in relationships during their first year of high school. Every student sees a presentation entitled “Silent Witness Program” where silhouettes of each victim of a violent relationship are brought out and their stories are told. Sadly, I have never had the opportunity to see this program as it usually runs when I have been teaching a class.
Each September, when I ask my girls what topics they would like to learn about, violence in relationships is usually the first one on their list. The girls don’t know it, but I am pleased that they have listed this topic. I would not cover it if there were a number of students not comfortable with the subject even though I really do want them to learn about violence in relationships. Some of my co-workers ask me why I teach this topic. I usually rhyme off a list of reasons, such as these girls are still young, they will have many relationships in their lives, they should know what a violent or abusive relationship looks like, and they should know where they can go for help. I also teach the topic because some girls only think that physical abuse equals violence in relationships. The girls are for the most part unaware of mental and emotional abuse. There are also many different sources from where girls can get information about violence; I want to make sure they get the correct information and that they understand it.
To begin the unit, the class is given several sheets with statements on them, and I ask them to decide whether they disagree or agree with the statements such as dating violence only happens to teenagers or once a woman decides to leave a relationship the risk of violence is over. This gets the discussion going on many of the topics to be covered. It is a great ice-breaker and also lets me know what the girls think and feel about certain topics.
The class and I then began to discuss the different types of abuse (I touch on physical, sexual, and psychological) and what types of acts or comments fall under the different types of abuse. As I already mentioned, some students think that physical abuse is the only form of violence in relationships, and it is the first type of abuse that I cover. Sexual and psychological abuse are then covered, and this is where some of the class tends to get surprised. When we discuss making sexual comments towards another person, most of the girls in the class realize that it is wrong to say these types of comments, but just think of it as a form of bullying. Most don’t realize that it is a form of sexual abuse. The same response is usually observed when we discuss psychological abuse.
We also discuss special teen problems that lead to abuse, societal contributors to abuse, and most importantly, where they can go for help if they were ever to find themselves in an abusive relationship. When we discuss that one of the reasons abuse continues is due to the fact that people do not want to get involved in another person’s business, there is usually a very heated discussion. The question that the girls ask over and over again is “people know that it is wrong and unacceptable, so why do they turn their backs?” I let the girls discuss this back and forth as a class before I get involved in the discussion, as most times, they answer their own questions. I just clarify what some of the students have said and provide some more information about the topic.
Every year, the class attends a special memorial service on December 6. The ceremony is to remember the 14 women shot in Montreal, as well as the women that have lost their lives on Prince Edward Island due to violent relationships. Each member of the class is asked to light a candle in memory of one of the women. It is a deeply moving service that really strikes close to the heart. The next day in class, we spend some time going over the ceremony and how students felt before, during, and after the ceremony. Most of the girls find the ceremony very powerful and are glad that we took the time to go.
When the semester is over, I ask the student a few questions, including “What did you like the most in the class this semester?” Over and over again, almost 100% of the students answer, “learning about violence in relationships so that in the future we will know what to do if violence ever occurs in one of our relationships.” Getting this response from the girls lets me know that dating violence is an issue that needs to be discussed and brought out into the open.
"Educating About Relationship Violence" is Sabrina's first article for Edwards Magazine.
Photo Credits: All photographs associated with this article courtesy of Edwards Magazine (permissions granted).
